Umbrellas

So here it is as winter is comin upon us one of my most hated things has come back which I
had forgotten all about and that is Umbrellas I mean how did it become legal and possible in this day and age of Health and Safety that some human being can pick up a weapon with many pointed ends become completely unaware of any other human being and start prancing about the busy ol city attempting to take peoples eyes out??? I remember umbrellas that curved so that the ends pointed down hence not gouging eyes and faces of innocent bystanders at the bus stop!So the kids have to were goggles to play conkers does this mean we are all gonna have to were goggles to walk in the city during rainy season??
Lets start a movement I say

A ll
H umans
F or
U mbrella
K ontrol